My Immortal - Nerd Version Chapter 26

AN: Preps and goths, stop flaming the story and nerds, start faving and reviewing the story! If you don't like the story, then go read Twilight! Black holes suck (everything)! Oh, and I wasn't bashing on fast food restaurants, ok?

A few mutations later, Calculator genetically transformed into Vampire, the character from My Immortal, and came to the tree. But my amazing powers transformed him back and he was now wearing a long black trenchcoat, black weather (geddit again, instead of leather or feather) pants and a Good Guy Greg t-shirt (if you don't know who he is, you need to brush up on your memes).

"Hi, Calculator," I said flirtily as I started to sob because I remembered Ville and Bill Gates had been shot. Draco hugged me sexily, trying to comfort me. I started to carry test tubes of bromine (geddit, the same initials as "cry tears of blood") and then told them what happened.

"Oh, 6-21-3-11 (geddit) it!" Calculator shouted angrily. He started to divide by zero sadly. "What 6-21-3-11-ing 4-9-3-11 did that!"

"I don't know," I said. "Now come on, we have to tell Dumbledore."

We ran out of the tree and into the castle. Dumbledore was sitting in his office.

"Sir, our dads have been shot!" Draco said while we whipped some whipped cream behind his back, because we loved sweets. "Elise had a vision in a dream."

Dumbledore started to cackle. "Hahahaha! And how do you expect me to know Elise is not an Inception fangirl?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look, rebel scum," he said angrily as Dumbledore gasped (see, is that the tooth of a cracker?). "You know very well that I'm not an Inception fangirl. Now get some fucking people out there to look for the Taylor Series and Lucian from the Cramp Twins - pornto! Oops, I made I mistake - I meant <<pronto>>," I added, trying to sound like a gangster.

"Okay," he said in a chipmunked voice. "Where are they?"

I fought with Draco with our lightsabers about it. Then all of a sudden... "The moon of Endor," I said. I told him which heliport. He went and called some people and tortured some fluffy Ewoks. After a few mistunes he came back and said the Imperials were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again, which was kinda strange since Muggle technology didn't work in Hogwarts. He said that they had not been found, because one was a mathematical concept and the other one a fictional character, but they had kidnapped Ville Valo and Bill Gates just for me instead. Draco, Calculator and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurse's office while Calculator went to finish his hydrogen bombs in his room. We looked at each other's nerdy, 32 GB flash drives. Then, we downloaded - uhm, "legally bought" - all 8 seasons of CSI: New York. Suddenly Ville Valo and Bill Gates came in on stretchers...and the sinister Professor Trevolry was behind them!