Numbuh 5's Voice Inbox

Hi, this is Numbuh 5's voicemail. If this is an urgent message, press 1 and Numbuh 5 will try to contact you as soon as possible. If this is not urgent, press 2 and leave a message after the beep. If this is Mom or Dad, look, I don't have time right now. Just wait till I get home, okay? This time I'll not be gone for long, I promise. And Cree, Numbuh 5 did not take any of the stuff in your room! What's Numbuh 5's fault if the guys on her team keep borrowing your bras and deodorants? - Crud, I heard you, Numbuh 5! - You remorseless traitor - Now what did ya say, Numbuh 1? - N...noth -

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Abigail, get my stuff back AT ONCE! I don't care what your Babies Next Door have to do with it, just bring it back! I can't show up for the date with Maurice like that!

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Hey, Abigail, do you know where my Nigie is? I found this mega-awesome book on vampires that we should totally read together! It's soooooo romantic!

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(cough) Guten tag, dear stranger. Meine name ist Hein...Heiney van...uhm...Beethoven and I'm currently searching for eine business partner. Ich am currently in exile on eine deserted island and all meine accounts are frozen. Ich desperately need your help. All you have to do is deposit 9000 dollars in candy in the bank account 123-456- 43467424 (123-456-HEINRICH) so that ich can bribe the guards to allow me to escape and rejoin meine family. As soon as ich return, you will receive in exchange for your gratitude all your investment and half my fortune. Please do not hesitate! Meine fate depends on you.

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Numbuh 5, Numbuh 362 here... Are you sure you don't want to be Supreme Commander? It's...uh, worth it, I assure you! Please, you might want to rethink your decision.

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Uh, is ce chose working? - Yeah, I guess so, dear - Abigail, cherie, your soeur Cree keeps saying elle needs some choses which you and your amis have, would you please give them back to her? - Yeah, the deodorants and skirts and dresses and stockings and - And n'oublie pas the bras, darling! - Oh yeah, my girl is now wearing a bra! Can't wait to see those changes in Abby, too! You know, when -

Warning: Message censored for embarrassing content.

*beep*

Numbuh 5, this is Numbuh 1 speaking.I have heard some very disturbing news that my girlfriend has read some teenager book named Twilight and now wants to transform me into a ... uhm, vampire full of glitter. I assume you can perfectly understand the severity of the situation. In that case, I give you the mission to remove such thoughts from her mind as soon as possible. (pause) Please, Abby, I don't wanna be a sparkly vampire, please! I owe you a ton! I'll do whatever you ask for a week! Just...just don't let her make up her mind!

*beep*

Ms. Lincoln, this is the local library calling. Surprisingly, you do not have any books in need of return - in fact, you are a model reader. Count Spankulot has publicly expressed his desire to come over and spank you, but since your record is clean, we are unable to fulfill his wish. We thus congratulate you for your achievement. Have a nice day!

*beep*

Honestly, you didn't have to be so impolite, Numbuh 4, 1000, 5 ... whatever Nigie calls you. Just because you can't spot a good book doesn't mean you have to criticise others, you know! My Nigie is going to like it, I know him better than you. Hmph, I don't know why I bothered asking you at all. Now, where did I put the sparkling kit I just ordered?

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Ha, this is Stickybeard, the meanest pirate of the Seven Suburbs! I'm back in the candy business, lass! If ya thought ya could fool me, well then ya were wrong! I made an alliance with ya old pal, von Marzipan, to rob ya of all ya precious sweets! I can't wait to see the look on ya face when ya realise ya just gave us 9 grand worth of candy in a scam! - Who are you speaking with, Stickybeard? - Ah, just good ol'Abigail Lincoln, I was telling her about how we robbed her of...Oh wait. - Aaah, you TOLD her? Du bist such ein lame villain! - Who ya calling lame? - N...no need to get so angry - I'll show ya the fury of a thousand lollipops! - kaboom - pow - ouch -

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Hi, fellow girl. I'm Mushi Sanban and I'm inviting you to the "I Hate Older Sisters and Brothers" reunion for all kids who hate their annoying older siblings! Come at 12 am at the Sanban residence with one of your sister or brother's items - I'll open the door for you, but you have to be silent, 'cuz I'm grounded for life thanks to someone...But nevermind that, just bring the items and I'll get a voodoo kit to get our final revenge! *evil laugh*

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Abby, I think you didn't persuade her that well...(knock) Oh, I have a bad feeling about this - Nigel Uno, here you are! Come on, let me put the pink wings on you! - No, Liz - whirr -

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That's it! Now I'm pissed off, little sister! Not only did I have to show up at the date with granny's clothes, but I also have had the terrible misfortune of stumbling across those stupid friends of yours wearing MY bras again! They ruined our perfectly romantic moment AGAIN! I'm raiding your silly treehouse right now!

*beep*

"After all this time?" "Always," said Snape. - Gaaaah! - It's so emotional! - I loved Snape first! - No, I did! - (sobs) - I liked him before he was cool - You hipster! -

Error: Fandom interference

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numbuhfivepleasehelpme -

AN: Hey, I got to use my limited knowledge of French in this! Hooray for me! Also, regarding Lizzie's message, I actually plan on writing either a oneshot in which Lizzie tries to make Numbuh 1 sparkle or a reenactment of Twilight featuring characters from KND (e.g. Nigel will stalk Lizzie at night, but that's because he thinks villains are trying to infiltrate her mind). Oh, and I've also seen a cool picture on deviantart that inspired me for (yet) another fanfic - this time based on Social Services interfering with the KND world. Thus, important changes are made: the kids have to explore their cultural heritage (e.g. Kuki will speak in Japanese, Wally will dress as a kangaroo), weapons are replaced with pillows or water guns, the Delightfuls are taken away from Father and put in the care of Numbuh 5's family, their mansion is shared between all other villains etc etc. I hope I'll have the time and inspiration to write it.

P.S. Another fandom makes a cameo! In fact, there are two of them, Twilight and HP. As dissimilar as water and fire. BTW, I love Snape, he's my favourite of Harry Potter.

P.P.S. Speaking of which, the next chapter will feature my favourite KND character!

P.P...P.S: Man, what a long author's note!